Sunday, April 05, 2009


I'm broadcasting live from under my covers. My room is sooooo cozy. Whats the point of a sexy room without the sexing...hisssss.

So, theres a Gents vs Ladies fight happening on No one wants to admit the other is right.

My take on relationships is, both men and women have power over each other. Women have the greatest power but they just don't know it. They under-use their strength and let love take over...As my friend Lolly would say,..."Ko ni da fun iya Love".


As it is unethical for a girl to make the first move (in my opinion), the bobo has to toast us first then we gel and start spooning there after. If guys don't toast us, we are screwed, therefore, they have the upper-hand at the beginning stages. It's left for them to make a lasting impression.
(1 point to the gentlemen. Ladies, you have to bring your A-game)


Babe either says, "well, dude. You're not too shabby yourself you know. Although you're vertically challenged, you do know how to make me laugh...*insert fake cute laugh*. That is on a good day, but on a not so good day, Babe gives the guy esho and tells him she wouldn't date him if he was the last frog in the swamp. It's all about choices. Choice = Power.

(1 point for the ladies. U brought your game. Used your skills wisely and allowed yourself to be caught by the fisherman)


So, the babe has dude and he's putty in her hands. Anything she wants, "Girl, your wish is my command". But first things first, I want to have whats under your pants...She's like "Whoa, son you've gotta work for it man".
(2-points for the babes jare...gbagaun!!!)


The man understands the great power the woman possesses over him. He finds himself doing the unthinkable. Cooking her meals, greasing her hair, kissing her feet. He plays dumb for a while as he counters her powers by using all the tricks in the book to get her to fall madly in love with him hence making her powerless. Unknowingly, the babe coos at every sweet something and bitter nothing he tells her. "Where have you been all my life??? I'm gonna make you my first wife".
(The bloody bastards. Another point to the guys)


Babe...after all the free forming and fronting, she finally succumbs to the mans charms. This is what the young ones call "Catching feelings". He sweeps her off her feet and will eventually leave her hanging in the air until she hits the ground hard. Or, if he really really likes her, he catches her before she hits the ground. So, as girl sees that dude is sweet because they "cake" at night, she starts being sweeter. Calls and sends him texts all the time. He reciprocates but just for a while. Then she starts to wonder what went wrong with her perfect gentleman her incoming calls are coming from him no She starts being unsatisfied like "shit, it's Tuesday,...that fool ain't even called me back since Sunday". But what can I say, maybe he's got instant amnesia, maybe he's sick, maybe he fell and broke all his fingers. Unapproved excuses she starts to make for him when the truth is nigga was hanging out with his fellas all weekend. Get over it girl, he has a life outside you. And her solution has again become her problem. Finding her "boo", she abandoned all her friends, no one to turn to.
(minus 3 for the babes...wharrashame)


Girl, whats your P. I spoke to you last week. No I'm not fooling around. I was home watching TV. "Damn this kid is paranoid, she might even be crazy. I ain't messing with her no more. Time to run away". Bobo slowly fades and in no time finds a new girl, while old babe has sworn off men because "they are all dogs". Thinking he's found something different when the truth is girls are all the same. (ahem, for the most part sha). So his new boo is even crazier, chops his money, shows him pepper, and he's confused. He's misses dialing his old boo's number and doesn't know what to do. He braves up and gives her a ring, she ignores the first few calls and eventually listens to what he has to say. He begs and pleads and buys her gifts. Calls her often to see how she's doing. Damn, nothing is working

(loser ni eh men...minus 2 for you)


The trick that works for all "worthy" men when they start acting up is to......Deny him of all attention and special treatments. Ignore his ass ladies. Be mean to him. Not hurtful just mean like, over when you're on the phone and tell him you'll call him back and then DON'T. Don't appear too available. Don't give him many options. Pencil him into your schedule. Call him back 2 days after and cancel. Forget his important events. Even if you do show up, be fashionably late just like any other bonz babe. Appear to be having maddd fun without him even though you're secretly dying and wishing he was with you when those horny kids at the club start displaying affection publicly. It's good to keep some secrets to yourself. It's also good to have a good balance in a relationship. Some might say you're playing games. Yes it's true, but it's like trying to reason with a 4 year old. They never understand and would rather do things their own way although they are wrong and can hurt themselves. Woman must not live by man alone. In summary, GET A LIFE. But just when he thinks theres no getting through to you....Bam!!!...Hit him with a cute text after you live the club at 4 in the morning. And when he calls the next day,...(trust me... he will), act like kini big deal...Hahaha. Works every time.

(Girlfriend, gba 5 points. You've worked hard for it)


Now guys.... I feel bad that it has come to this. The babe that once declared that she'd rather be single than marry any other man has totally moved on. Well, we can fix it. I can't tell you the secret. It has a everything to do with the revised "Girls honor code" of 2009 but I'll tell you this, If she really loved you and still does, she'll eventually come around. BUT....don't be flakey men. You've got to work hard and keep at it FOREVER!!! Yup, even when she's old and gray, you have to keep pleasing her so she doesn't nag and complain and frustrate your life. She's not asking for much. She just wants the attention she deserves. She wants the pretty flowers that have no scent whatsoever. You've never understood the essence of flowers. You never understood Pythagoreans theorem either but you did the math because you had to in order to survive didn't you? So buy her the damn flowers you idiot. And if she's a romantic and likes poems, but you don't have a poetic bone in your spine, that's why hallmark created cards with words so you don't have to stress your brain. Pick up some chocolates with that. You'll probably get some nookie for the very simple, yet thoughtful gesture. Ultimate rule. Never comeback from a trip empty handed. Like, u dey crase? Ask my father, he'll explain to you in
(You've been a good boy-6 points for you too)

Now lets add ur points up
Boys: 1+1-2+5=Five Girls: 1+2-3+6=Six
Actual numbers depend on circumstance and if we go on, no one ever wins so it's best we stop trying to outsmart each other and live together in peace.

Ladies, from the get-go,
1). abeg show the bobo your true colors. If you're retarded, let him decide from the beginning if he loves you enough to deal with your kolomentality. Anything otherwise is pretentious.
2). Understand that men don't always like what we like and you can't force them to. No, they don't want to go shopping for hours and no they don't want to watch the chik flicks and no they don't want to have "the talk" when football is on. Once in a while, cut him some slack if he says no.
3). Avoid confrontation. As long as he's a good guy and he loves and cares for you, bear with him while you're courting because when you get married, theres no escaping it. He has to speak to you everyday and put up with your madness till death do you part....buhuhuhahahahaha.
4). Let him crave your attention. Make him want to you more. Be Ms. Independent. Don't put your all into your relationship. It's the truth though it hurts.
5). Flirt, flirt, flirt...let him no you still have game and can get the next guy that comes your way. The jealousy will drive him nuts.
6). Be the life of the party. You don't need him hanging around through the night. Dance with him occasionally, flirt with him, steal kisses here and there but dance with other people too...Bonkers.
7). Don't always be at his beck and call. If he's hungry, describe to him how to cook noodles over the phone, but cook for him sometimes so he knows that you do know how to cook :-)
8). I can't stress this enough. It's kind of complicated but Don't always be available. If you had plans and he calls you up, DO NOT CANCEL unless it's really urgent. You can always see him later on but be sure that you're doing more good than harm before you tell him no. Then show up at his door hours

Guys, you do the same from the start. Don't go all flip mode on her after being prince charming for so long. Just be real. Someone will love u for u..and don't get lazy. Keep the loving fresh with time (ladies, you too)...Yessur...Sexy sturvins. Oblige 70% of the time. Yes, SEVENTY pacent. Think deeply as to what is going on in her mid. It's the sweetest gesture you could ever ask for. She wants to include you in her life. Loves being around you and wants to share most things with you. If you don't see how lucky you are and stop taking her sweetness for granted then you don't deserve her. But you will regret it in future, because isn't that how our mothers are? And I know you want a woman like yo mama.

I could go on...Maybe i should write a book. But I'll leave you with this...Love from within wholeheartedly. Love freely and not accordingly....from my heart to yours.


Fayomz said...

She starts being unsatisfied like "shit, it's Tuesday,...that fool ain't even called me back since Sunday"


this is the gospel. lol.

But this thing needs disclaimer... because it doesn't work all the time... at least i hope not

Miss Az`ure said...

Lol...i know o Fayomz...I should have a disclaimer down there somewhere b4 i get sued for causing breakups.
My take is if d fronting doesn't work then they guy/girl is not feeling u like dat so move on